Visions
by ladyvice
Summary: Sanzo promised never to become close to anyone ever again and not even Goku is going to change his mind... Complete Sorry all. That's all there is!
1. Default Chapter

Two sharp pains in his right leg...crimson liquid pouring out onto the sand...fangs retracting. A beautiful sunset.  
  
The sand beneath Sanzo's cheek was hot and smelled of dust...just dust. Really nothing more. He was facing west. Inwardly, he laughed at the irony of his situation. He hadn't really planned on dying. Of course, a long time ago, he hadn't planned on picking up a stupid chimp that needed so much looking after. Maybe Goku was eighteen give or take five hundred years but he still had the mind and priorities of a child. He still acted without thought. One does not simply jump into a fight with an unknown enemy like Goku had. Granted, it was just another insect-mimicking yokai but this one was fast...and smart enough not to wait to attack. The moment Goku turned around to search behind that rock, it had sprung up and done its best to bite Goku. The monkey, however, managed to get away the first time. The second time, he wouldn't have been so lucky. Some unknown instinct caused Sanzo to push Goku aside at the second attack. Instead of that damn demon-bug's fangs sinking into Goku's tender flesh, they pierced Sanzo's leg instead.  
  
"Sanzo!" Stupid monkey... "Sanzo!"  
  
The venom began to move quickly through his body. He could barely move now but he wasn't going to die alone...He was going to take that damned insect with him. He raised his gun and pointed it at the large, moving target. His vision was blurring. It was so hard to see...He had to make sure not to hit Goku who was fending the beast off, trying to get to him. Then, why should he care? Goku would move and Sanzo never missed his target. His finger tightened on the trigger. This is probably the last round I'll ever fire. He thought to himself and oddly didn't care. Nothing mattered but the moment in which he was living. If there was some kind of life beyond death then there was no sense in worrying about it now. His vision was worsening with each passing second.  
  
"SANZO!!"  
  
He closed his eyes and pulled the trigger. Wind blew over him as the spider demon vanished. At least the others were safe. But then...why did he even care. He rested his head in the sand. Hakkai and Gojyo were suddenly beside him. Sanzo opened one eye. Where was that stupid monkey? He wasn't anywhere to be heard...Odd for Goku in such a situation.  
"Sanzo...I don't think..." Hakkai started and then stopped as Gojyo placed a hand on his shoulder.  
"You bastard priest..." Gojyo said under his breath. He was holding something in his hand and dropped it to the sand in front of Sanzo's face. Even with his vision failing him he could tell what it was. He tried to draw in a breath for a gasp. It was Goku's golden coronet.  
  
Warm sand beneath his face, pain like fire in his heart...Goku's coronet before his eyes. Time faded and light and darkness both were forgotten. Death was all there was. 


	2. 2

"Haraheta..." Goku insisted for the thousandth time. "Sanzo...I'm starving!"  
  
"You can't starve, Goku." Sanzo replied lighting up another cigarette. "Now shut up."  
  
"But I'm so HUNGRY! I could eat anything..."  
  
"Chew on this." Gojyo handed Goku something and he devoured it in a flash.  
  
"What is this? It's really good!"  
  
"It was a big clump of dirt, you idiot."  
  
"You fed me DIRT?"  
  
"You said you could eat anything..."  
  
"How about a bullet?" Sanzo exclaimed turning his gun on them.  
  
"No thanks." Gojyo replied and the both of them settled down for the moment.  
  
"What are you smiling about?" Sanzo asked Hakkai as he turned back around. Hakkai smiled too much. It was almost...eerie.  
  
"Nothing." Hakkai said but the smile didn't fade from his face. "I was just wondering if you ever would shoot Goku for being annoying."  
  
Sanzo's eye twitched. He'd wondered that himself as well just moments ago. "Just drive." As time went on Sanzo found himself thinking about Hakkai's statement. There was no way he could ever hurt Goku. Goku had such a strangely high opinion of him that Sanzo was almost afraid to disappoint him. The two of them were so close and yet so distant at the same time. Goku's constant complaints and stupid smile annoyed the hell out of Sanzo but he couldn't ever remember a world without such things. He didn't really want to.  
  
He'd done some thinking about what would happen to the four of them if they all survived this mess. Gojyo and Hakkai wouldn't stick around for very long. They had their own lives to live. They might keep in touch for a few years before their friendships fade but he and Goku would be stuck together. Neither of them had anywhere else to go. Sanzo was stuck being a Sanzo, stuck with Goku like a bad headache...like a scar that wouldn't heal.  
  
Why couldn't Goku be emotionless and detached like the others? He was too much of a child still. When Sanzo was his age...but really, how could Sanzo compare his childhood to Goku's? If he'd really even had one at all. Sanzo tried to remember having the urge to play and interact with others his own age but no instance came to mind. He was alone even then. No...his master had been there until that night when everything changed and he vowed never to hold anyone dear again. No matter what other vows he broke, that one had to remain in tact. He couldn't allow himself to truly befriend any of them. Not even Goku.  
  
"SANZO!" Goku's voice pulled Sanzo from his thoughts.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm hungry!"  
  
Sanzo turned quickly and fired a single shot in Goku's direction, missing on purpose. "Shut up and sit down, monkey or I'll give Gojyo all your food tonight!"  
  
"You're cruel Sanzo!" Goku insisted. "That's really harsh."  
  
"Keep talking, monkey." Gojyo added with a smile. "I'm pretty hungry myself."  
  
Sanzo sighed to himself and sank back into his seat as their arguing began again. You stupid monkey. He thought. Why am I so afraid of caring about you? 


	3. 3

They roomed together that night, Sanzo and Goku. Sanzo hated sharing a room with Goku. He snored so loudly it was impossible to get a good night's rest. At least he could have an intelligent conversation with Hakkai most of the time or play a hand of cards with Gojyo. With Goku...it was always, "I'm hungry!" and "I'm hot". Sanzo knew the situation all too well. When Goku immediately settled into bed, however, Sanzo was surprised. "What's wrong, Goku? Sick?"  
  
"No." Goku replied looking up at the ceiling. "I was just thinking about something." There was silence as Sanzo dropped his gun on the table and began to empty the bullets from it.  
  
"Hey!" Goku said sitting up. "Don't you want to know what I was thinking about?"  
  
"No."  
  
Goku frowned. "I'm telling you anyway."  
  
"If it's something stupid, I swear I'll kill you."  
  
"If you ever had to, Sanzo...would you kill me?"  
  
"What the hell kind of question is that?" Sanzo grunted.  
  
"Homura and Kougaiji are both really strong." Goku lowered his head and touched the golden coronet. "I've already fought Kougaiji without this thing and I was just a mindless monster. If I have to take it off to fight Homura...If the only way to stop me is to kill me..."  
  
"Shut up, Goku." Sanzo said suddenly as he took the last bullet from his gun."That's a stpuid question. Don't make me kill you for that." Goku raised his head and looked at Sanzo who was sitting at the table with all the pieces of his gun and six bullets before him.  
  
"Sanzo..." Sanzo tapped his fingers on the tabletop in silence. "Do you think we'll die on this mission?" The question was meant to be stupid. Goku wasn't used to seeing Sanzo sitting so quietly, looking so deep in thought over words he'd already spoken.  
  
"I don't plan on it." Sanzo replied and began putting his weapon back together.  
  
"Then I don't either." Goku said and lay back down. "Because I've been following you ever since then...This'd be a weird world without you, Sanzo."  
  
"It's already a fucked up world, Goku." Sanzo replied quietly. /But I know what you mean./ Sanzo...Goku thought as he drifted off into sleep. Don't ever go where I can't follow. 


	4. 4

They piled into the jeep the next day without breakfast, Goku complaining loudly. Sanzo tossed two boxes of doughnuts into the back of the jeep. "Have at it." He said, annoyed already at Goku's complaining. "If you hadn't been so busy complaining about carrying your things then you'd have had some back at the inn."  
  
The two boxes lasted only minutes between Goku and Gojyo. At least they were quiet for once. Their journey that day started out nice and quiet...too quiet. Most of the day passed with Sanzo napping in between cigarettes and the fighting in the backseat. Goku and Gojyo spent the day as usual, arguing, complaining or talking to Hakkai who spent the day driving and talking to them. It wasn't until evening that anything seemed out of the ordinary at all.  
  
"I'm so hungry, Hakkai..." Goku started.  
  
"You already ate most of what's in the jeep!" Gojyo said loudly, waking Sanzo from his nap. "Half our supplies are gone."  
  
"I was hungry!"  
  
"Be quiet before I feed you some sand. It doesn't taste quite as good as dirt, you know."  
  
"I wasn't even talking to you!"  
  
"Like Hakkai can do anything about it."  
  
"Now, now..." Hakkai started, eyeing Sanzo's annoyed look with a nervous smile. "There's supposed to be a town near here. We'll all eat there."  
  
"But I'm hungry NOW." Goku turned his eyes to the desert and rocks around them. Where was this town Hakkai was talking about? Nowhere to be found. Goku started suddenly. "Hey! What's that?" The jeep slowed to a stop.  
  
"What's what?" Gojyo asked and Goku pointed to a pile of rocks. "Wait a second..." Gojyo continued. "I think those are called...rocks!"  
  
"Not the rocks, you idiot." Goku replied. "I saw something big and black move behind them as soon as we came into view." Sanzo raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You don't think...?" Hakkai started.  
  
"Who cares?" Sanzo said. "As long as they're not bothering us it's not our problem."  
  
Goku hopped out of the jeep. "Where are you going?" Gojyo asked him. Goku didn't answer and rushed towards the pile of rocks.  
  
"Goku!" Hakkai exited the jeep next. "That's dangerous!"  
  
"Baka saru..." Sanzo said and followed Hakkai.  
  
"Guess I should go, too." Gojyo said and followed as well.  
  
Goku poked his head around the rock and immediately drew back. "Holy shit!" he said evading giant fangs. A large, black demon-like spider appeared from behind the rocks and lunged after Goku a second time. "Baka!" Sanzo stepped forward and grabbed Goku to safety inadvertently placing himself in the demon's path...  
  
"SANZO!!!"  
  
Two sharp pains in his right leg...crimson liquid pouring out onto the sand...fangs retracting. A beautiful sunset. 


End file.
